February 13, 2006 - 7:02 p.m.

Dear diary,
You may be feeling extra self-confident today, Stacy, making you more able to say and do the things that you might normally keep inside. Be warned, however, that you are apt to run into some powerful unexpected opposition. The genius in you wants to come out and show others what you are made of, but other people may find reason to find fault. Don't let the disapproval of others hinder your progress.
I'm not quite sure yet why I am writing this as I'm not in the mood to expose my life off to the world tonight, however, my fingers I guess feel the need to type away since no one is online to talk with. I'm feeling so lonly right now. I think I'll call Alicia soon for some company. Greg's not yet home from Barrie and I've somewhat come to my room (like usual) to get away from the world and hide from everyone around me. Lately I've been feeling pretty desperate just to talk to someone that I've actually been picking up the phone and calling my mom where we never seem to have anything good to say to one another and we find ourselves rambling on about nothing at all. When I phoned tonight she was apparently sitting in the bath relaxing which she talked to me. How charming. *rolls eyes* Oh well.
Greg's mom expressed to him the other night about how frustrated and upset she has been getting with everyone around the house and no one helping with anything...I have some of my own very strong opinions on this topic however I do not at this time wish to say anything on here just for my safety. I have however made some strong decisions of my own to try and ease some of my own frustration. I now refuse to turn off any left on lights by anyone else in the house, close any cuppoard doors that have been left wide open, pick up after anyone or put anything away for anyone when they have got it out on their own. This is hard for me as I have become so acustomed to coming in the house and doing all of that out of anger for people not being able to do the simple things. Oh, and the other thing is that I'm no longer closing the closet door in less of course that I am the last one in the closet. If everyone else want's to have their shoes and so on pissed on by the dog, then so be it. I've stopped all this now. It makes me way too upset lately and then I don't want to be around anyone so I'm just simply not doing any of that anymore. If I can turn off lights, close cuppoards, close the closet and pick up after myself, then so can everyone else!
I've got this song stuck in my head right now from Sarah McLachlan called Drifting. Here are the lyrics:
You've been gone so long all that you know
has been shuffled aside as you bask in the glow
of the beautiful strangers who whisper your name
do they fill up the emptiness?

[Chorus]
Larger than life is your fiction
In a universe made up of one
You have been drifting for so long
I know you don't want to come down
Somewhere below you, there's people who love you
And they're ready for you to come home
Please come home

You walk in a room and the world stops to stare

Mesmerize all who are caught in the glare
Of the spotlight that follows wherever you go
Does it light up the emptiness?

[Chorus]
Larger than life is your fiction
In a universe made up of one
You have been drifting for so long
I know you don't want to come down
Somewhere below you, there's people who love you
And they're ready for you to come home
Please come home
It's really a very beautiful song. The reason I've got it in my head is just that I have been sitting here now for an hour an a half keeping myself busy on making Greg's Valentine's Day card for him to give to him tomorrow at dinner. It's somthing that I started two years ago for our first Valentine's Day together and it's something that I hope to continue doing for as long as I am capable of. However, my butt now needs to move. It's numb from sitting here. I think I should also call Greg since I'm worried about him and where he is or whether he is home yet and just hasn't got around to calling me yet. Take care everyone and have a Happy Valentine's Day tomorrow.
*love always stacy*

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