May 22, 2005 - 3:31 p.m.

Dear Diary,
Some vivid and beautiful dreams or visions could wake you up and make you aware of new opportunities. They might be creative in nature and you should consider taking advantage of, STACY. This revelation may have been staring you in the face for a long time, but you never noticed it. Don't write it off because of the unorthodox way it came. Look into it and see where it leads you. Your destiny might just be around the corner!
May 24 weekend is finally here...and as a matter of fact, almost gone. I still have until Tuesday morning though until I have to return home and face reality all over again. Greg and I havn't done or gone anywhere this weekend. We did a bunch of running around yesterday morning to the bank, the beer store, the liqure store, the grocery store, to get coffee and then come home. Then we had to run back out at 1:00 to take Greg's mom and brother to the bank so that Gary could have his bank account placed into his name and then Greg had to go and pick up his book that he ordered through Chapters which was suppost to have been delivered here and I guess they tried but no one was around to receive it so they take it to the post office. Then we had to go and pick up coffee for Greg and his mom and we were finally able to return home and relax for a while. Other then that, this weekend's been pretty good. Greg and I got up this morning and were gonna go for a walk to Victoria Park but decided against it because Greg had to be here to wake his dad up for 1:00 so he could go into work for the day. That meant that we'd have to go for a short walk and ended up going to Timmy's for coffee and a bagle for our morning breakfast. It was a nice walk though. Not much else has been happening I guess. It's been a pretty quite weekend for the most part. I finished up one of the scholarships that I am applying to on Friday and called June for a letter of refernece which she said she would be glad to do for me and would start it over the weekend. I'm suppost to be checking in with her on Tuesday or Wednesday. Plus, I called the last two daycare's that I was at and talked to my two daycare supervisors and they said that they could write me up one so that worked out as well. It's one less thing to worry about I guess.
As I just found out, Greg and Paulett finally set a time and day to go out for coffee. I don't know...It's driving me nuts. Every ticking moment of every day I think about it and the more I do the more I feel like holding back and hiding from everything. It makes me feel apprehensive about everything and I hate that feeling. I hate the idea of all this but I know that I shouldn't as they are only friends. I fell like shit though and I can't help that. I can't help the way that I feel inside. Greg knows I don't feel comfortable about things. He hasn't said much though. I've been the one asking the questions and being all nosy. Like I say, it's just because of all the feelings that are floating through me at this time. I guess that I'm also afraid of what is always a potential for the long run and what could become of Greg. Don't get me wrong and all, I trust Greg, it's just that I don't trust others who I don't know. Part of it is just because of the past and the ways that I have been hurt and the other part of me is just a bad feeling. I don't know how else to explain things. Oh well. Hopefully he'll just get this done and over with on Thursday and then I'll feel better. Not likely but we'll have to see I guess. I wish this terrible feeling inside of me and my mind would go away though and it's killing me.
Greg and I just finished sitting on the couch together, two spoons in hand, carton of icecream on Greg's lap and sat there "taking a break" by eating right out of the carton. It's a good pick me up I guess when your feeling down. Everytime I think about eating out of a carton of icecream, I remember back when both of Miranda Egglestons parents died and her and Sarah MacDonald sat outside on the back porth eating it together until it was empty. What weird memories. I have to say though that the icecream was great though! Very tasty! Anyways, I'm gonna go for now. Find something else to do while Greg sits and plays. I know that he hasn't had much time with his games and I want to give him that time to himself to relax. Take care everyone!
*love always stacy*

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