March 09, 2005 - 8:18 p.m.

Dear Diary,
Realize that you may be controlling other people's actions without even consciously knowing it, STACY. This is one of those days in which emotional outbursts could explode in your face as a result of other people's reactions to your pressure. Don't feel like you need to take on the responsibility of everyone else's actions. You may be having a hard enough time dealing with your own personal issues.
I'm so totally livid right now. I'm just absolutely furious with Roberta. I can't believe her and what she is now yelling at me about. Jeez, now I know how Greg felt (in some ways) as a child. My Gld she just lost it! I just can't believe her. She flipped on out my tonight about dishes of all things and how everyone helps out and such. That's a joke! Mike and Gary do nothing! You know, in a way, it's kinda funny. I brought up the fact that Gary sits on his ass every night downstairs and can't be bothered to help with anything or get off his ass for a damn thing and is always asking things like "Mommy, can you bring me down my dinner?" For God's sake he's going to be 17 soon and can't even pick up after himself or do anything without his mom being right there. It's patedic. And now that Mike isn't in university and isn't working, he does shit. For crying out loud, when I moved in here I was the only one other then Greg to take the dog out for walks. They can't even take their own dog out! And yet Roberta then has the nerve to say that she's been a stay at home mom when the kids were little and raised them to take care of them but that has nothing to do about it NOW! Mike and Gary are adults and need to learn to take care of themselves and do things for themselves without their mommy right behind them. Man! They can't even shut lights off, close the door behind them or do their own laundry! I am constantly putting things back in the fridge that they leave out or shutting things off such as the computer, lights and heater that they leave on when no one is even home! It's such a joke around here. And yet I'm getting yelled at for all of this. I just can't help but to shake my head at all of this. It's rediculous! I'm just dying to vent to someone but Greg isn't talking about this as he doesn't want to be in the middle of it all and I can't seem to get a hold of Alicia and they are the only two good people to vent to. Damn...I'm fucked yet again. I'm depressed tonight. I didn't eat breakfast this morning and then Jen and I ate out as we were at the bus terminal waiting to go into Waterloo so I could go and pick some things up for my first period class on Monday in which I am presenting a science activity for preschool children. Dinner was late tonight as well since we didn't eat until after 7:30pm. I'll likely be heading to bed early again tonight as I'm tired. I'm at the daycare tomorrow so it should be another exhausting day as is. I have homework coming out of my butt! It's insane. I don't even know where to begin. Damn! I really wish that I could get a hold of Alicia! I need to talk with her. I wish I could talk to Greg about all this but I know that he wants nothing to do about everything so I'm not even going to bother. It'll just make him upset which will end up upseting me so I'm putting that idea behind me. Speaking of which, the last couple mornings have been nice as Greg and I have been able to take the bus together in the morning down to the terminal. We are only able to see one another on Tuesdays and Wednesdays in the morning since Monday's my classes start late at 9:30 and Thursdays and Fridays I'm at the daycare and don't need to be there until 9:00. But it's been nice. I enjoy seeing him in the morning and seeing each other off into our day. It's refreshing. Hopefully this will continue. I'm also planning to apply for a job likely on Monday since tomorrow and Friday I will be getting home late. It's at Pluto Daycare which is close to where I am so it would be great to get it. I'm hoping! Anyways, I'm exhausted and frustrated and pissed off at Roberta so I'm getting off of here to go and watch American Idol which will be coming on soon. I hope that everyone is doing better then what I am and take care. Love you all!
*love always stacy*

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