February 09, 2005 - 7:23 p.m.

Dear Diary,
Bring a sense of stability to your ever-fluctuating emotions, STACY. Spend time with people who can help bring you down to earth, and try to sift through your thoughts in a rational, logical, and practical manner. You will find that the more stable you are, the better you will be positioned to receive the love that you deserve. Realize that you don't always have to run out and get it. Love will come to you.
I spoke to Greg tonight once I got home from the daycare. He had yet another shitty day and told me about last night with Doug and how things went. He also spoke of the many changes that may occur sooner then what I had expected them to and to be honest I'm not in the least bit ready for all these changes. I know that they aren't actually happening to me and all but I care about Greg and I care about his future and how he will be effected by the choices he makes. I'm just not so sure about this big one that he is considering though. I'm worried and scared. I worry for him more then ever that he is making a bad choice that will only let him down in the end of things. I'm anxious and nervous. I can't explain things either and I hate bringing it up in front of Greg as I know he needs my support now more then ever. I know I'm not stepping up to fully be there for him either. As much as I want to be, I really do, but something is just holding me back. Maybe it's just my intuition or a voice inside of me that just keeps giving me a bad feeling but something is there and his preventing me from feeling completely comfortable with this. I just hope that all turns out for the best. I just want things to work out fine and for Greg to finally be happy with his job. I hate to see him the way that he is. Doug had better not let him down though!
*love always stacy*

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