June 19, 2004 - 6:45 p.m.

Dear Diary,

Have you done some drawings, Stacy? Since last month, or possibly even before, you have been thinking about all of your creative abilities. You have the habit of turning your back on your skills in drawing, photography, and writing, but they are inside you, nonetheless. People will be expecting more of you! All you have to do is get out a brush or a pen and you'll be on your way!

I came back...to be honest, I didn't go anywhere and have had every intention of writing in this dear old diary of mind. The fact of the matter is though, that I havn't had the time to do the writing that I have wanted to. After hearing of Jenn's death about a month ago, everything just kinda stopped for awhile and I took some time to really think about what had happened and to appreciate my life and what I've got going for me. I think the news of Jenn's death shocked everyone into a way of thinking like that and things have been much more quite since. When you hear of someone (especially of someone you know and grew up with) your age who has taken their own life, everything kinda stops and everyone takes a deep breath in. That's pretty much what happened after Jenn's death. The first few days after the terrible news, I cried all the time. The first day back after work after hearing, was the hardest. Something I know I never want to experience ever again. I just couldn't seem to get over the facts of what had just happened and where life was headed. Seems weird, I know. I think part of me knows though that hearing of this has made me apprieciate everything in such a different perspective and see life in a much different way. I thank her for this.

As far as what has been going on though...well, I'm still working full time at Fram (Honeywell). Its been about a month and a half. Great money; hard work. Its great though that I'll be able to pay for school now and be away from home. Speaking of which, I only have 43 more working days (not including weekends) before I'll be moving away from home to be able to go to school come September. I couldn't be any happier and yet scared at the same time. Everything will change. In good ways though. :) *smiles* I just finished my online course about two weeks ago. I still don't know what the outcome of my mark is yet as my teacher is still marking final projects as we didn't have exams in this online course. Hopefully all went well with that and I'll get the $50 back. Now I'll be starting to study for my drivers licence since I'm about three years behind on getting that. Along with babysitting and going away every weekend to be with Greg, there goes all my time. All is well though and honestly, I couldn't be better. Greg and I have nearly been together for a year and three months (on the 29th of June). I'm so happy with him and honestly love him. As of right now even I'm sitting here at his place as I write this.

Mom and dad have been doing work on the house. Renevating each room. Next will be mine once I leave for school. Leaving for school...such a nice thought. *sighs* However, my time here is done. I've got to get going and get some dinner into me. It's almost ready. I'll try to keep updating on a regular basis. Things have just been so crazy right now and I can never seem to find the time. Hang in there though, and my thoughts and time will come out for you to read. Take care everyone.

*love always stacy*

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