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If There Were A Perfect Weight It Would Be Zero
November 13, 2003 - 8:13 p.m. Dear Diary, Dear STACY, You can look forward to a bright day today, STACY. And what a relief it will be after the tensions of the past several days. This would be a good time to confide in a close friend. This will help to relieve some of the pressure you have been feeling inside. However, be careful not to let yourself relax completely. If you do, you may never be able to get up out of that bed! IF THERE WERE A PERFECT WEIGHT IT WOULD BE ZERO!!! I always find it so amazing how you can be having a wonderful day and within the blink of an eye it can all change and you feel horrible inside. IT HURTS SO MUCH TO TRY!!! The two sentences in bold tonight are taking over on me suddenly. All because of mom. Why do I even bother? I never get anywhere with her and we end up back at square one with nothing accomplished and just feeling ten times worse. I wish she knew how it felt to just want to fall down hard onto your knees and cry so much that you would dissapear forever. Everything is such a mess. I'm all nervous about eating again. I ate too much today. I feel disgusting. I wish I were pretty and could go back to all my old ways. I wish I didn't have to deal with everything going on. Walking through a pitch black tunnle each day not knowing whats going to happen and suddenly you are grabbed by a million hands poking and pulling. Laughing and crying. Where do you turn? How do you escape? *love always stacy*
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